I really hope he hasn't discovered my blog yet

Sooo, at the risk of sharing prematurly, I just want to say...I met someone. Someone not like the 15,000 other boys I've been dating recently. (I really don't mean that to be cocky. It's just like, after everything fell apart with missionary I realized there  were a million boys around looking for someone just as hard as I now was. This is Provo, for Pete's sake. Dates are a dime a dozen.) For the first time I'm going about dating as i should be, with my eyes wide open and emotions on hold for the beginnings. Emotions are what got me attached and in trouble before. So this time I'm being prayerful and thoughtful about the stranger across the Vietnamese cafe table from me.  My list for a guy is simple:

-Worthy priesthood holder, and all that that entails
-Kind and forgiving
-Driven and a hard worker
-Funny:)
-We make each other want to be better

But, of course, there also needs to be that initial spark of chemistry. It's been a little tricky trying to find all these things in one guy. Not to mention that he had to be interested in me, too. Errrr.

For a while I felt like I could only find people a little beneath my level or way out of my reach. Was there no one on my plane? Was I setting unrealistic expectations? Or was there no one with the qualities that I wanted who would want me back? I thought about just going for people out of my league anyway, as they were the keepers. But I couldn't get over the feelings of intimidation; I couldn't be myself.

Then I met this boy, and remembered what it feels like to be compatible. We have too many things in common, it's almost disconcerting haha. We love the same flavor at Coldstone, never getting anything else. We've both read some of the nerdiest books on the planet. We love the same old school artists and get a little geeky when we talk lyrics and music. He asks all the silly questions that I usually ask when trying to get to know someone. And let me tell you, I'm sorry to all the guys I've dated and sprung these questions on, they're tricky! In any case, me and this kid just fit. In a way that I haven't felt in....never. Quite honestly he wins. Even from just these first few dates I feel I fit closer with this guy then I ever did with missionary.

Bonding over Wheel of Time, who knew? Thank you Robert Jordan

I think I just wanted it so bad with missionary, I was willing to pretend a little here and stretch a little there. Maybe I forced the compatibility. But it was so long ago, who can know. I don't want to discount what I had with missionary, as it was lovely (even if it is horrendous now.) I just want to emphasize how good it is with this new guy. Not having to try too hard. Not being bored, but not feeling like he's miles out of my league.

Don't get me wrong. New guy is still amazing and I look up to him and what he does quite a bit. And he really encourages me to be better as well. It's just comfortable though, not a strain. It feels right.

Anyways, it's still the very beginning of whatever this will be. Heck, he could turn out to be a crazy person, obsessed with collecting scissors and keeping flying squirrels as friends. I don't know where this will go. My point is that, there is compatibility out there. There are guys worth finding. And just because it's taking you years to find him, or her, doesn't mean it's an impossible feat. There is nothing wrong with you. You are you, and there is someone who will fit with you. With every date you get that much closer. Stick to your guns, don't compromise on the important things on your list, and live your life worthy of someone that you want. And I promise you'll find him.

That being said, it's been too long since someone instilled butterflies in my tummy. I really hope this does go somewhere. But I'm not rushing into anything. Whatever it is, it will be built to last.

You are enough

And you're going to find him